Parent Express for 06-Nov-2010

Recently several friends and a few strangers remarked, "I can't believe it's November already!" I agree. The 11th month startles many of us into realizing that the holidays are around the corner. Thanksgiving—soon!

At the PCI, we emphasize an appreciative approach to parenting, so that gratefulness acts as a major focal point—every day—not only on Thanksgiving. With awareness of our blessings means we attend to what works well in our lives and in our parenting. Thankful for what works, we naturally keep learning what works for us! In this exciting process, we become increasingly capable of successfully addressing challenges. Equipping our children with an "attitude of gratitude" definitely supports their spiritual growth and emotional health. But also consider: Thankful children know how to navigate life's storms better than entitled children do.

The articles in this issue of The Parent Express, "Teaching Our Children Gratefulness" and "Meeting Our Children's Needs" offer reminders and resources to help children become self-actualized and grateful—a winning combination—any month of the year.

I (and all of us at the PCI) wish you a meaningful and joyous holiday season. We will "see" you in 2011 when The Parent Express resumes with our January issue.

Warmly,

Gloria DeGaetano, Founder and CEO

Apply now for Winter Quarter 2011 Parent Coach Certification® Training Program.

Apply before November 15 to receive a $900 tuition discount. Begin Course 1 phone classes the week of January 10, 2011. Or you can begin phone classes in March, if you choose. The $900 tuition discount will most likely not be available in 2011. This is the last year we can offer such a steep discount for our comprehensive program. If you have been thinking about entering Parent Coach Certification® Training, now is the time. Call today for details: (425) 401-1519.

Please send in the basic application as the first step. Download the application here. Once we receive this document, we will contact you for a phone interview. Transcripts and reference letters can follow the basic application by a few weeks.

Please Note: Phone classes are in the evening time, usually at 5PM or 6PM (Pacific Time) to accommodate the work schedules of our students.

The final application deadline for Winter Quarter is December 3.

Questions? Please call (425) 401-1519 or email info@ThePCI.org.

Working with a parent coach who has received Parent Coach Certification® through The PCI™ is giving yourself a valuable gift as well as a sound investment in your family's future. PCI Certified Parent Coaches® are caring, thoughtful professionals with years of experience working with parents. They have successfully completed The PCI™ Parent Coach Certification® Training Program—a comprehensive academic, one-year, graduate-level program in collaboration with Seattle Pacific University. Through a series of coaching conversations that can be either by telephone or in-person, PCI Certified Parent Coaches® help you re-discover your dreams and design your life for more joy and satisfaction.

To find a PCI Certified Parent Coach® in your area, please click here or call (425) 401-1519 for a referral to a PCI Certified Parent Coach® selected especially for you.

Teaching Children Gratefullness

by Gloria DeGaetano
PCI Founder and CEO

We teach our children to say "Thank You," to write messages of appreciation when they receive gifts, and to express gratitude toward their teachers by kindnesses throughout the school year. Gratefulness is demonstrated by these actions.

Gratefulness is a way of being in the world.

Learning this "attitude of gratitude" can be an exciting adventure. It may be a journey of a lifetime, but many steps can be taken in childhood. Here are four key ideas to try with your children:

Say What You Appreciate
We don't give up parental authority when we let our children know we appreciate them. "I appreciate how you picked up your room this morning" is an accurate statement of positive behavior, as well as an honest declaration of how the positive behavior impacts you. Children and teens hear an authentic acknowledgment from us as validation—hey, if mom thinks I'm on the right track then I must be! A healthy sense of personal agency develops from this inner recognition, along with self-appreciation. And a bonus—verbally stating what we appreciate about our children teaches them to appreciate that about themselves.

Guide Children to Express Their Thanks Often
With busy days it's so easy to move quickly from one activity to another without much thought. Pausing in order to direct children to express their thanks means we have to slow down. For example, when we shop with our child, we may have bought her new clothes or his much-wanted toy and now we're rushing to get to the grocery store to make it home in time for dinner in time to go to the PTA meeting—you know how it is. With a few deeps breaths to gain more presence in the moment, we may realize that our child hasn't yet said, "Thank You" to us for the purchase. On the ride to the grocery store, a "thank you" reminder makes sense. When we ourselves take time and allow a slower pace on occasion, we'll be able to nudge our children to express thanksgiving. Children feel what they express…and they may not feel grateful until they express it!

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PCI Certified Parent Coach® Mary Scribner Contributes to New Book Read Mary's engaging essay about adolescence, "The Teen Years—Can a Steel Stud Look Like a Pimple?" in When One Door Closes—Reflections from Women on Life's Turning Points.

Mary Scribner, a registered nurse and PCI Certified Parent Coach®, has a passion for motivating and inspiring people. She supports struggling parents with a heart-centered approach combined with professional expertise. Her career as a maternal-child health expert evolved after years of third world travel and recognizing family health disparities in her own backyard. Working with those most in need, Mary designed and implemented health care programs for families in crisis and with special needs. Mary co-created A Wild Ride to support parents of challenging children.

When One Door Closes is a fascinating and diverse collection of 55 short essays and poems written by 53 women. The authors' share their personal stories of significant turning points in their lives or times when they found themselves on the threshold of a major decision or a life changing event. Thirty-five percent of the sales of this book go toward supporting non-profit women's organizations providing assistance to women in times of great need or transition For more information, please visit the Reflections from Women Web site.

Parents and the Media/Digital Age
Gloria DeGaetano, Founder and CEO of the Parent Coaching Institute will provide presentations on Parenting Well in a Media/Digital Age based on her award-winning book, Parenting Well in a Media Age for two school districts in the Dallas area:

Tuesday, November 9
St. Mark's School (PDF)

Wednesday, November 10
Greenhill School (PDF)

The Parent Coaching Institute is a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation and welcomes donations from individuals, organizations, and corporations who want to support its mission To transform the world by revitalizing parenting through prevention and possibility.™ For more information, please click here or contact The PCI™ at info@ThePCI.org or (425) 401-1519. Visa and MasterCard are accepted.

The PCI now has its own credit card. For those who desire to help us increase our parent coaching programs to needy moms and dads, please consider obtaining this credit card. The PCI receives 1% or 2% on your purchases, costing nothing to you to use it. We are excited about this collective effort to benefit more moms and dads with our positive, innovative, and highly effective parent coaching! It's easy to apply for this card online.

Back issues of Parent Express are available on The PCI™ Web site. There you can read articles by Gloria DeGaetano and PCI Certified Parent Coaches®, and easily send past issues to friends and colleagues via e-mail.

Meeting Our Children's Needs Reduces Stress and Helps to Minimize Discipline Problems

by Barb Bushey
PCI Ceritified Parent Coach® and PCI Instructor

I have used Dr. William Glasser's five basic needs and Gloria DeGaetano's Vital Five® (DeGaetano, G., 2004, Parenting Well in a Media Age) to assist me with these problems and situations. We all have five basic needs according to Dr. William Glasser. The first need is the need for survival this includes air, water, food, shelter, and good health. If this need is not being met, we will do anything possible to get it met. The four other basic needs are love and belonging, power, fun, and freedom. You may be saying to yourself what does this have to do with my child's behavior.

These needs are directly related to both our behavior as parents and our children's behavior. If our needs or our children's needs are not met, we will behave in ways to get these met. This behavior can be positive or negative and especially as a child, we don't care what these behaviors are as long as we get these needs met.

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