Parent Coaching Institute
The Parent Express E-zine


The Parent Express E-Zine
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Parent Express for 20-Nov-2007

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Parent Express Ezine

Welcome to Parent Express, the PCI e-zine! Here you will find updates on the Parent Coaching Institute, along with ideas and practical tips for the parenting journey.

Our November feature article discusses the importance of building the foundation for resiliency so our children can weather well the storms of life. These skills, essential for a successful life, grow cumulatively as moms and dads focus on meeting children's developmental needs in the decisions they make every day. I discuss these needs, The Vital Five, in more detail in my book Parenting Well in a Media Age, but this article gives you many useful ideas and important first steps.

When we get to the essence…it's all about connections—making the most of our time with our kids to keep and deepen our connection with them. During the next weeks of holiday celebrations and family gatherings, I wish you many precious moments with your children—moments surely treasured for a long time to come.

Gloria DeGaetano, Founder and CEO

PS: Please note that Parent Express is not sent out in December. We will resume in January…see you in 2008!

PCI Training

PCI Now Taking Applications for January 08 Start Date

If you feel a calling to work with moms and dads in an innovative way; or if you are already working with parents and want to discover exciting ideas, fresh approaches, and new tools to add to your experience, contact us at (425) 401-1519.

Applications are now being accepted for entrance Winter Quarter for the Parent Coach Certification® Training Program with phone classes for Course 1 beginning the second week of January 2008. Phone classes are in the evening time to accommodate work schedules of our students. Application deadline for Winter Quarter is December 1, 2007. Applications will be accepted until December 15 if space is available.

Please send in the basic application as your first step. Transcripts and letters of reference can follow the basic application by a few weeks. Download the application here. Send to the PCI at: 1400-112th Ave. SE, Bellevue, WA 98004. Questions? Please call: (425) 401-1519.

We require candidates to have an undergraduate degree and at least two years of either professional or volunteer experience working with parents in such capacities as a teacher, parent educator/mentor, counselor, mental health professional, social worker, or community health worker.

Learn more about our acclaimed, graduate-level, distance-learning Parent Coach Certification® Program by clicking here for more information.

Check out our Video About the PCI Parent Coach Training Program and see what professionals think about their training with the PCI.

"The wealth of information and knowledge I've been exposed to as a PCI student has been phenomenal…it's incredible how much all this information just fits together so well…internalizing and digesting all of this knowledge has been a joy. Beginning to use it in my daily life and within my relationships has been life-changing."
—Mari Ferrell, Round Rock, Texas

"This material is so rich…such a resource. I marvel at how it is organized and how much is contained therein."
—Susan Brown, London Ontario, Canada

"Through the PCI training, I have made a transformational change, for I have truly changed both inside and outside." —Barb Bushey, South Lyon, Michigan

For Parents

Working with a parent coach who has received Parent Coach Certification® through the PCI is giving yourself a valuable gift as well as a sound investment in your family's future. PCI Certified Parent Coaches® are caring, thoughtful professionals with years of experience working with parents. They have successfully completed the PCI Parent Coach Certification® Training Program—a comprehensive academic one-year, graduate-level program in collaboration with Seattle Pacific University. Through a series of coaching conversations that can be either by telephone or in person, PCI Parent Coaches help you re-discover your dreams and design your life for more joy and satisfaction.

To find a PCI Parent Coach in your area, please click here or call (425) 401-1519 for a referral to a PCI Parent Coach selected especially for you.


Visit to listen to programs featuring PCI Certified Parent Coaches® and other experts from around the country discussing topics of interest to moms and dads.

Programs are available as podcasts. Listeners can download individual episodes directly, listen to them from this site using a Web browser, or via the iTunes podcast directory. iTunes subscribers will automatically pick up new episodes as they become available!

Featured Article

Building the Foundation for Resiliency Skills
Through Brain Compatible Parenting™

by Glora DeGaetano, CEO and Founder, The Parent Coaching Institute

If we think about what qualities we want our children to have as adults, most of us would put this quality at the top of the list—the ability to hold fast and steady during troubling times. We want our children to grow to be resilient in the face of adversity. By knowing how to navigate hardship without being bitter, by proactively addressing challenges, and by courageously confronting obstacles, children become equipped to dive deep into life's gifts, enjoying their lives in the fullest possible ways—even during the inevitable times of suffering.

During the eighteen-year parenting journey, we have many opportunities to help make all this possible for our children. The beauty of the design of the parent-child bond is that it is a natural way to build our children's capacity for resilience, meet the needs of their growing brains, and instill in them resiliency skills that they will take with them into all aspects of their adult lives.

Resilience and Resiliency Skills in a Living System

It's important to distinguish between resilience and resiliency skills.

Resilience is an attribute of a living system system, whether that system is an individual, a family, or a community. Resiliency means that the system can do two things:

  1. Absorb an impact that is disturbing, and then…
  2. Return to its original purpose, keeping on track with its direction, focus, and intent.

We can't impose growth on a living system. We can only provide what is needed for the system to grow, remove obstacles to natural growth, and lovingly encourage growth. The living system grow itself. That means that the inherent capacity for resilience lies within any living system whether a person, family, or community.

Resiliency skills, such as the courage to face fears or the ability to self-reliant, develop readily in the living system of the human being that grows up with the attribute of resilience. Resiliency skills give access to the inherent resiliency within, and can provide the means for enhanced development. But a learned skill is not likely to transform a non-resilient personality structure into a capacity for resilience. The capacity for resilience is a foundation for learning and a person brings that capacity into the learning process. An non-resilient personality, then, will do something different with the resilience skills than a resilient personally structure will. Put simply: Parents build resilience when meeting children's cognitive, emotional, and social development. All resiliency skills stem from that.

Read the Rest of the Article…


Lori Goff, PCI Certified Parent Coach® writes for ParentMap, a Seattle-area parent magazine. Her informative article in the October issue, "Too Hyper About Hygiene?" discusses germs and the immune system, providing important information on what's the best type of physical environment for children.

Sally Kidder Davis, PCI Certified Parent Coach® and member of Sound Parent, was interviewed for an article on technology, "Working Dad: Trapped by Technology" for the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, November 15.

Researchers at the University of Washington released a study of media violence and preschoolers: Violent Television Viewing During Preschool Is Associated With Antisocial Behavior During School Age. Dimitri A. Christakis, M.D., M.P.H., and Frederick J. Zimmerman, Ph.D. tested the hypothesis that exposure to violent television viewing when children are 2 to 5 years of age would be associated with antisocial behavior at ages 7 to 10. They found that violent television programming was associated with an increased risk for antisocial behavior for boys but not for girls. Neither educational nor nonviolent programming was associated with increased risk for boys or girls. They concluded that since the viewing of violent programming by preschool boys is associated with subsequent aggressive behavior, "modifying the content that is viewed by young children may be warranted."

Thousands of studies since the early 50's have demonstrated similar results, therefore many researchers go much further and state unequivocally that young children should not watch any form of TV or media violence. For a comprehensive summary of the research on media violence from 1952 to 1999, please see Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill: A Call for Action Against TV, Movie, and Video Game Violence by Lt. Col Dave Grossman (retired) and Gloria DeGaetano.

Parenting Tip

Celebrating the Joys in our Every Day!

As we enter the holiday season, stress can turn celebrations into obligations—not much fun and too much work. A slight change in perspective can help re-energize our festive spirits. The following children's books, easily found at your local library, promise quick inspiration for the entire family.

I'm in Charge of Celebrations
 by Bryd Baylor

A classic, I found this book many years ago and fell in love with it immediately. It is a prose-poem written in the first person by a young woman who lives alone in the desert and designates special days of celebration as she observes the power of nature: Coyote Day, Dust Devil Day, The Time of Falling Stars. Peter Parnell's illustrations add wonder and evoke the beauty of making conscious choices about what to celebrate…and why.

My Mama Had a Dancing Heart
 by Libba Moore Gray

This book also celebrates nature—this time with each passing season. The author, a ballerina, is remembering how her mother used to say to her: "Bless the world/ it feels like/ a tip-tapping/ song-singing/ finger-snapping/ kind of day. / Let's celebrate." The two danced barefoot in the spring rain, ran through the summer surf with balloons and kites tied to their wrists, performed a "leaf-kicking/ leg-lifting/ hand-clapping/ hello autumn ballet." So much fun for reading, singing, playing with your child.

The Way to Start a Day
 by Bryd Baylor

Baylor and Parnell teamed to create this beautiful Caldecott Honor Book. They urge us to begin our day in quiet regard for our connection to the people who came before us: "The way to start the day is to go outside, face the east and greet the sun, as others in the past and present have celebrated the dawn." This book shows us the magic waiting for us in our everyday moments when we stop and listen.

Teaching Children Gratefulness

by Gloria DeGaetano

We teach our children to say "Thank You," to write messages of appreciation when they receive gifts, and to express gratitude toward their teachers by kindnesses throughout the school year. Gratefulness is demonstrated by these actions. But gratefulness is also a state of being. Learning this "attitude of gratitude" can be an exciting adventure. It may be a journey of a lifetime, but many steps can be taken in childhood.

Say What You Appreciate

For instance, smelling the turkey and pumpkin pie cooking naturally bring us a feeling of thankfulness. So while the Thanksgiving dinner (or any dinner is being prepared), we can take a minute or two to breathe deeply and savor the moment, and within earshot of the children, express our genuine gratefulness for the upcoming meal…and for the chef! Then, when the family gathers around the table and says a prayer or makes a toast; your child will remember your earlier appreciative expression. He or she will connect the feeling state you expressed before the meal with the action of thankfulness at mealtime. This kind of reinforcement helps children to more fully tap into their own feelings of gratitude.

Read the Rest of the Article…


This issue of Parent Express was originally published November 20, 2007. Some content, contact information, and links may be out of date, and the conversion from the original email edition may introduce formatting inconsistencies.

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